You may have been reading our blog since the beginning, which means you’ve been reading our ramblings for coming up to 3 years now and we thought it was about time you got to know the ladies behind Audenza. So we have shared 5 things about each of us that you didn’t already know. Unless you already know us in person us of course… but there might still be a few surprises in there! Read on to find out why Hollie is a puffer fish, why Amelia resorted to rinsing a chicken tagine under the tap and how Jacqui managed to survive bringing up 5 kids….
1. I’m incapable of making a cup of tea. Well, not incapable as such, theoretically speaking I can, I just forget. I offer to make a cup of tea, only to get embroiled in emails again and then remember about an hour later. If I make it as far as boiling the kettle, there’s about a 50% chance that I’ll actually remember to finish the job. I’ve even made a tea before only to realise I hadn’t actually boiled the kettle in the first place and the water was stone cold. Apparently Amelia and my Mum now take bets as to whether they’ll ever get the cup of tea that I’ve offered to make. Not so much brain like a sieve, more like brain like a log flume. If it ain’t on my to-do list, it ain’t gonna happen.
2. I still have a baby tooth. Just one, and apparently I’ll be lucky if it lasts me another 10 years. So I’ll be toothless at 40. Well, perhaps that’s a little melodramatic, it’s just one tooth and I’ll get an implant. But still…
3. I absolutely cannot stand the sound of people chewing. Around a dinner table I can just about suppress it (amongst chitchat), but if someone happens to be chewing in my ear- God help them. There’s something about it that makes my blood boil. A searing, irrational anger that could see me ripping the food out of their mouth and strangling the offending person. No, I joke. But seriously, don’t do it.
4. I’m scared of… everything. The dark, check (it’s dark for goodness sake). Fish, check (just creepy). Heights, check (I’ve been known to self-combust into tears walking across to the Bullring car park). Spiders, check (shiver just went down my spine). Cats, check (don’t trust them). Ghosts, check (of course they exist). The list goes on. That said, I’m also very determined and if I’ve said I’m going to do something I’ll do it. Though perhaps the parachute jump was a little too far. Did you know that 98% of people who do a parachute jump end up really enjoying it, no matter how scared they were to start with? Well, needless to say you’re looking at a member of the 2% club.
5. Apparently I’m a puffer fish. Have you ever played that game where everyone suggests what kind of animal you’d be? Well, we played that once and it didn’t end too well. Amelia suggested I’d be a puffer fish- “likely to blow up at any given time”. In retort I suggested that she was a lady bird- “pretty, but essentially boring”. My mum called a stop to that game rather quickly. These days I meditate and practice mindfulness in the hope of softening my puffer ways. We’ll see.
1. I really hate Christmas! It’s not something I admit to generally as most people are appalled but for me it’s a time of high expectations (all resting on me) and excessive amounts of work (also resting on me, but the girls do their share) coupled with the darkness at 4 o’clock and cold miserable weather. November and December are such a slog and I wish I could hibernate. Oh the relief as January comes round and there is hope of more daylight and a possibility of warmth in the not too distant future, and I start to read my gardening books.
2. I am an introvert and find meeting new people really difficult as I am very shy and it is usually construed as arrogance or ignorance. My youngest daughter Amelia has the same affliction which is why Hollie is the voice of Audenza. She was always the noisiest child! I am happy to write but don’t ask me to speak too much, although a glass of wine always helps.
3. I panic if I don’t have a book or my kindle near me at all times. I think it’s the only thing that got me through bringing up five rowdy children – bury my head in a book and ignore them! I love Georgette Heyer for historical romantic fiction and she is my go to author when I want some light relief and witticisms (why aren’t there any films based on her books, maybe there are but I don’t know about them) and I reread her books constantly – and of course the fact they all have a happy ending is a winner when you have the blues. The rest of my books seem to involve a war, preferably the First or Second World War, much to my friend’s disgust as she peruses my book shelves for a loan.
4. Although I write blog posts I cannot upload or comment on a blog. I am shockingly bad at technology which, as you can imagine, drives the girls wild. I can’t use Pinterest, my satnav is totally redundant and I can’t change stations on the radio. I am excellent at buying online though – mainly plants haha. I have to stay off plant websites at midnight as I get carried away. My son (the gardener and tree surgeon) despairs of clients that buy loads of plants with no idea where to put them and no thought for design, and rants on the subject. I can see the look on his face when he is called round periodically to help me sort out the massed row of pots waiting to be planted.
5. I have been addicted to Vaseline for my dry lips from a young age and now all my children have the same addiction – the girls being the worst. I have a tin in the car, a tin by my bed, a tin on the kitchen table, a tin on my desk at the factory, a tin in my sewing room, a tin at the caravan – need I say more! I have tested all manner of lip salve but it has to be the plain old blue tin of Vaseline and I have tried to wean myself off but with no luck, but still, it’s quite harmless, I just look a bit greasy sometimes and get some funny looks on the train haha.
1. Half my hair is shaved. The other half isn’t.
2. I’m scared of putting my feet on the floor of swimming pools because of the crocodiles lurking at the bottom. I’m yet to actually lay eyes on said crocodiles, but I know they’re there.
3. Like my mother, I prefer not to speak. Wherever possible. Unless I’m asleep….
4. I talk in my sleep and once insisted to Hollie that broccoli makes you tan, obviously she asked me to elaborate, to which I snapped back ‘oh just forget it, I’ll explain in the morning!’ (However, I would like to point out, before anyone starts eating absurd quantities of broccoli in preparation for summer, that I’m fairly sure it doesn’t actually have magical tanning powers!)
5. I love to cook and my boyfriend and I try a new recipe almost every weekend. I have however, had a few disasters… I saw a lovely looking recipe by Jamie Oliver for a moroccan tagine, which called for preserved lemons and I stupidly thought, no problem, I’ll preserve them myself. I diligently turned my jar of lemons several times a day for the first few days and then left them for a month to finish preserving. Now, I’m the sort of person that’s thinking about what to have for dinner at breakfast, so to wait a month for a recipe, it better be good! Well, the only way I can describe the taste of the tagine was lemon washing up liquid, it was vile! I’m not sure what I did wrong, but it’s safe to say I will never be preserving my own lemons again! To add insult to injury, I cooked an extra batch of chicken, thinking how lovely it would be to freeze and eat later in the week. So in my effort to avoid any waste, I attempted to rinse the chicken (yes, that’s right, I rinsed my chicken under the tap), and then added it to a casserole sauce to try and mask the soapy lemon flavour, but there was just no hiding that vile taste. Even the dog wouldn’t touch it, he looked up at me as if to say, you expect me to eat this?! So, needless to say it all ended up in the bin.
We hope you enjoyed learning a little more about each of us- do feel free to comment below with a fact about yourself, we’d love to get to know our readers a little better too!
Audenza Ladies x
Photos: Samie Lee Photography
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